Stop starting the conversation with “Hi!”
Summary:
Personalize your opening messages by referencing specifics from the recipient's profile to demonstrate genuine interest and stand out.
Opt for light-hearted, positive introductions and open-ended questions to foster engaging and meaningful conversations from the start.
Avoid generic greetings, superficial compliments on appearance, and negative opening remarks.
Full Article:
Navigating the initial messages on dating apps can often feel like walking a tightrope between being intriguing and maintaining authenticity. Striking the right chord from the get-go can set the tone for a promising conversation and potentially a meaningful connection. Here's a guide to the dos and don'ts of opening messages on dating apps, complete with examples to help you craft that perfect first message.
Dos of Opening Messages
Personalize Your Message: Generic openers like "Hey" or "How's it going?" are all too common and likely to be overlooked. Instead, personalize your message by referencing something specific from the person's profile. For example, "I noticed you enjoy hiking. Any favorite trails? Mine's the John Muir Trail!" This not only shows you've taken the time to read their profile but also opens the door for an engaging conversation.
Keep It Light and Positive: Starting off with a positive and light-hearted message can set a friendly tone. Humor, when used appropriately, can be a great icebreaker. An example might be, "If you had to choose one, would you pick pancakes or waffles for breakfast for the rest of your life?" It's quirky, fun, and prompts a response.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage dialogue by asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer. For instance, "What's the most exciting adventure you've been on?" This type of question invites sharing and can lead to a deeper conversation.
Don'ts of Opening Messages
Avoid Overly Familiar or Creepy Comments: Comments on someone's looks can come off as superficial or even creepy, especially as an opening line. "You're hot" or "Nice body" are not only impersonal but can also make the recipient feel uncomfortable. Keep the conversation respectful and focused on mutual interests.
Don't Copy and Paste: While it might be tempting to use a one-size-fits-all approach, especially if you're messaging multiple people, recipients can usually tell when a message isn't personalized. Avoid the copy-and-paste trap to ensure each message is tailored and genuine, unless there isn’t anything that stands out in their profile.
Steer Clear of Negative Openers: Starting a conversation with complaints or negativity is likely to put a damper on the interaction before it even begins. Opening with "Hope you're not like the others on here who ghost after two messages." or "I doubt anything real can come from this app, but here we are." sets a pessimistic tone and might make the other person wary of engaging.
Examples in Action
Good Example: (Girl says she likes indie films on her profile) “Very important question… What is your favorite indie film"?”
Bad Example: "Hey, what's up?"; “Hey! How was your weekend?; “Hi! You are really cute”
The good example is personalized, shows genuine interest, and invites a detailed response, making it an excellent conversation starter. The bad example, on the other hand, is generic, shows a lack of effort, and is less likely to elicit any reply, especially for people who get 10+ matches a day.
The key to crafting effective opening messages on dating apps lies in personalization, positivity, and engagement. By steering clear of generic, overly familiar, or negative comments and focusing on shared interests and open-ended questions, you can increase your chances of sparking an interesting and enjoyable conversation. Remember, the goal is to stand out positively and make the recipient eager to respond.